WHY?

I was answering a post on an adoption site today. Someone asked Why your child. I though I would share my reply.

I have no biological children but we are adopting from China as well. We were about a year into that adoption. Waiting for our refferal (much like we still are now!) We had decided that we would probably adopt agian after we got our little china baby home, probably from Ethiopia. I even called an agency and got info on the process. The lady said to not start until we were closer or had our China baby and we were fine with that. Sometimes I would look at Rainbow kids. Mostly looking at special need asian children, really just curious and playing. Then one day in late May of last year I saw this little laughing girl. I looked at her 20 times a day at least. I would smile every time I looked at her. She had this great smile that reminded me of my husband and step daughter when they laugh. I had my husband look at her and he said "yes she is very cute. We are waiting to start another adoption, and aren't we going to Africa?" This went on for a few days and all the while I couldn't stop looking at her. Finally I said I am just going to call this number and see what her story is. Well that is when I talked to Audrey. As soon as she answered the phone I started rambling on about this little girl. Audrey said she was available and I said "we want her, she is my daughter!" Audrey laughs at this now. Well when Brandon came home I sat him down and went over everything financially that we could change so that we could bring her home. I think he got that I wasn't asking anymore.
We were her parents!
The next day we got a call from Georgia. Both Audrey and Georgia are from the Family Network Agency. Georgia said that Christelle (Lilly) was not going to make it and they could not let us proceed with adopting her, we should try to find another baby. This was the most devistating phone call of my life. I felt like I couldn't breath. I mourned and stared at the wall all night. I kept thinking that if she didn't make it I still wanted her. I wanted her to be with my family. Mostly I just wanted her to be home with us. The next morning I got a ton of E-mails from Jenny K, Michelle, Janet, Kodak and Stephanie. Michelle even offered to foster her on a medical visa, so we could get her better. They all wanted to help save that little girl. This was enough to give me enough hope and courage to proceed. By tuesday I had talked to Audrey and told her that we wanted to proceed, we would deal with it no matter what. In my heart she was already our little girl. Over the 8 months it took to bring her home, Lilly was in the hospital about 3 of them and about 3 before we found her. Now she is home. She is peacefully (Thank you God) sleeping upstairs. She sends her days laughing at everything. Taking in the world around her. No one knows what was wrong with her. Maybe a parasite, maybe failure to thrive. Who knows, but I am sure that she must have felt all the love from her mommy and daddy and from all the women here who prayed for her daily. To look at her today you just think she is small. Hopefully tomorrow we will know more, but we may never know why.
Brandon tells people she found us. That she called to me from that web-site.
That she needed me. I think I needed her.
I think it finally hit me what a long road this has been. Thanks for everything.
Heidi

Lilly and her cousins

My sister and Lilly's cousins, Ryan and Madylin visited us last week. We had the kids pictures taken. They are so cute.

It has been busy since Lilly came home. Brandon has had a trip for the Navy and has been working a ton of nights. Lilly has finally started sleeping all night! From between 6-7 PM to 7-8 AM! I wish I could do that. I am getting more rest though. She is moving all over now. Not quite crawling but scooting on her tummy. This is a big improvement from not even wanting to lay on her tummy. I cannot believe how big she is getting. She also gives kisses now. She smiles and then opens her mouth and DIVES at you! It is too cute.

More pictures

A man made a stature of Lilly and I sitting at Walls in the rocker. This is the first time we saw it. It is beautiful.

This is Lilly at the doctor. She is just so pretty.

Hi Alexei! I can't wait to meet you!

Having fun with Nerlande!

Lilly's favorite pastime. Playing cards! Vegas here we come!

Lilly update

Though it is not great I thought I would post a picture of us in Haiti. Don't worry there are more to come. Lilly has been doing great. She does not like me to be out of her sight, but that is understandable. We have been to the doctor and so far everything is good. She weighs 14.5 lbs! We think she gained about 2.5 lbs this month! We go back on the 26th to a pediatric intestin specialist. It is mostly to look at everything and be sure she is ok.
My Mom came to visit as soon as we were home. So Lilly has been to Park City, out to eat and to the Mall (a lot!) . It was nice to visit with my Mom and for her to meet her granddaughter. My sister and niece and nepher are coming next week and so are my grandparents for a few days. We have a week to relax and get a schedule down though.

Home at last

Hi everyone!
We are home! I Utah, with running hot water and nice cosy clean clothes! I
am still in the stage of thinking I am dreaming that my Lilly is here with
us. We got in late and Lilly woke up when we got to the airport to all her
fanefare. My friends and my Mom and Brandon all met us there with a big
sign it was very cute. She hardly cried all day. Many people said to me
that is the best baby I have ever seen on a plane. One lady at the
starbucks in Miami (the most beautiful starbucks I have ever seen!) said
"oh, your daughter is so cute she looks just like you!" uh ok thanks I
guess. Weird. Anyway I wanted to say that I felt tottally safe and
comfortable when in Haiti. I cannot say enough about the heroics on the
part of Marie and Calib. They are really the best. I cannot imagine doing
what they do everyday! Also that I will truely miss Veniel and the staff at
Walls' after a month they are like family to me. Veniels family has now
moved to the guesthouse. Venieka his daughter is such a doll and his wife
is really helpful. They did quite a bit with us when we were there and it
was nice to have that time with them. We are getting settled this morning
so I may not post much in the next few days. Thanks for everyones support from the PAcCgroup, esspecially Jenny and Michelle who listened to me on the phone all the time. Mostly I want to thank Brandon and my Mom who I spoke todaily and they helped with everything they could even though they were so far away. Thanks Becki for calling!!!
Heidi