Sunday, February 25, 2007


I was answering a post on an adoption site today. Someone asked Why your child. I though I would share my reply.

I have no biological children but we are adopting from China as well. We were about a year into that adoption. Waiting for our refferal (much like we still are now!) We had decided that we would probably adopt agian after we got our little china baby home, probably from Ethiopia. I even called an agency and got info on the process. The lady said to not start until we were closer or had our China baby and we were fine with that. Sometimes I would look at Rainbow kids. Mostly looking at special need asian children, really just curious and playing. Then one day in late May of last year I saw this little laughing girl. I looked at her 20 times a day at least. I would smile every time I looked at her. She had this great smile that reminded me of my husband and step daughter when they laugh. I had my husband look at her and he said "yes she is very cute. We are waiting to start another adoption, and aren't we going to Africa?" This went on for a few days and all the while I couldn't stop looking at her. Finally I said I am just going to call this number and see what her story is. Well that is when I talked to Audrey. As soon as she answered the phone I started rambling on about this little girl. Audrey said she was available and I said "we want her, she is my daughter!" Audrey laughs at this now. Well when Brandon came home I sat him down and went over everything financially that we could change so that we could bring her home. I think he got that I wasn't asking anymore.
We were her parents!
The next day we got a call from Georgia. Both Audrey and Georgia are from the Family Network Agency. Georgia said that Christelle (Lilly) was not going to make it and they could not let us proceed with adopting her, we should try to find another baby. This was the most devistating phone call of my life. I felt like I couldn't breath. I mourned and stared at the wall all night. I kept thinking that if she didn't make it I still wanted her. I wanted her to be with my family. Mostly I just wanted her to be home with us. The next morning I got a ton of E-mails from Jenny K, Michelle, Janet, Kodak and Stephanie. Michelle even offered to foster her on a medical visa, so we could get her better. They all wanted to help save that little girl. This was enough to give me enough hope and courage to proceed. By tuesday I had talked to Audrey and told her that we wanted to proceed, we would deal with it no matter what. In my heart she was already our little girl. Over the 8 months it took to bring her home, Lilly was in the hospital about 3 of them and about 3 before we found her. Now she is home. She is peacefully (Thank you God) sleeping upstairs. She sends her days laughing at everything. Taking in the world around her. No one knows what was wrong with her. Maybe a parasite, maybe failure to thrive. Who knows, but I am sure that she must have felt all the love from her mommy and daddy and from all the women here who prayed for her daily. To look at her today you just think she is small. Hopefully tomorrow we will know more, but we may never know why.
Brandon tells people she found us. That she called to me from that web-site.
That she needed me. I think I needed her.
I think it finally hit me what a long road this has been. Thanks for everything.

1 comment:

Kodak McClain said...

I hope you print this out and keep this in her scrapbook. This is a beautifully written story that I am happy to have shared with you - even if at a distance.